How To Write WASSCE In Nigeria

If you are reading this as a student yet to write the 'most important' exam of your life, trust me, you have nothing to fear. This manual helps you understand how you should (or should not) study for an exam which does not study you or your ability. And well, to those of us who have written, this is just but a reminder of a process we once feared (or still fear) and how deep malpractice pervades it.

First, we need to define some key terms:
-School: Where a student learns and  writes WASSCE

-Student: Someone who writes WASSCE.

-Invigilator: A teacher of a student's school who supervises the writing of WASSCE.

-Supervisor: An external WAEC-appointed individual who conducts WASSCE.

-Dubs: Any form of 'prohibited' material that aids a student in writing WASSCE. Also known as choks, chips, runs, expo etc. The process of using dubs is called 'dubbing'

First, the school is the most important variable in the system which determines all other elements. As a student, you need to know what category your school falls under.
There are the 'perfect' schools where every student and invigilator knows his place and they don't tolerate any form of dubbing. Depending on the academic standard of the school, such schools could turn out with excellent results for its students or average results which is usually the case. This is usually the case in older private and missionary schools which have reputations to uphold.

Then, there are the 'passive' schools who turn a blind eye to the student's activities, neither encouraging nor discouraging. There is occasionally a major case of malpractice where a student is disciplined thoroughly just to prove a point that doesn't even exist. Such schools usually keep the supervisors in check by giving them 'something' for transport. Few students in such 'good' schools do exceptionally well while the majority does averagely well with some failing woefully. Federal schools are an excellent example.

Finally, there are the 'co-operative' schools who do everything but write for the students. They dose the supervisors with heavy caffeine, keep them preoccupied with something, or settle them. The invigilators are teachers usually specialized in the subject being written and help every student individually by calling out the answers, photocopying them or even shading for some. If you think your school cannot be in this category, ask your seniors who have graduated already. Most public schools and smaller private schools tend to fall under this category who either pass or fail overwhelmingly.

Now that you have figured out what category your school belongs to, you need to understand that there are three types of students and know which category you fall into.

You can choose to be a saint with a holier-than-thou attitude towards examinations. You have to be quite intelligent though, because having studied and put all your faith in God, you have no business with anyone during the examinations and can only write what you know. Some who opt for this method are sometimes seen submitting semi-blank answer sheets looking very frustrated trying not to break their vow with themselves. In some cases however, they are usually the very intelligent ones whose answers are unique to every one else's and end up with distinctions.

While the motto of a saint is "Do your best and leave the rest", the 'sharp guys' have a slightly different motto which substitutes 'leave' for 'dub'. Here, you have to be equally intelligent and have studied to maximum expectation. However, in the exam hall, you use a combo of both wits and 'dubs'. After successfully answering all those you know, you then use the 'dubs' to fill in the blanks and have a complete paper. You have to be quite smart, however, with your mates because you almost always become a source for 'dubs' being quite intelligent and having a flawed integrity. You might even be given 'dubs' and asked to cross-check, and occasionally you would lie to them so they might fail and you would pass more (that's supposed to be the logic, I guess). However, you shouldn't expect more than credits on your results and an occasional distinction if you're lucky and intelligent.

You can never go wrong, or rather, right, with the masters of 'dubbing', the 'dubbos'. The thing about being a dubbo is you really don't care about the exams. You have to be EXTREMELY lucky to pass using 'dubs', as everyone is practically writing the same thing as you are, which raises suspicion. So don't study or bother praying since your salvation lies not in God but in the 'dubs'.

Dubs come in different forms.  Traditionally, you can get your 'dubs' from those around you or by luckily smuggling in a Key Points textbook (they are really handy) and peeking without being caught. As expected, dubbing has evolved like every other thing in the world to a much simpler and technologically accessible sport. I use 'sport' because it requires immense skill, precise timing, adequate practice, and most of all, grace in hand-eye coordination. Nonetheless, you have to find which method suits you best. You could choose to join a WhatsApp group that automatically supplies the 'dubs' to your phone (the easiest method). Or you could subscribe to a 'supplier' who texts you the answers during the examination. Better still, you could use weirdly named websites like naijaruns.com or wapcliq.com to get '100% CERTIFIED WAEC RUNS!!!' according to them. And yes, in case you're wondering, they are 100% certified to fail you. Most of the 'dubbos' are constant failures in school exams and using technologically advanced 'dubs' just continues the losing streak.

Basically, once you figure out who you are among these three categories of exam-writers, you can then begin to chart your pathway towards your desired results in WASSCE.

This article might sound casual but aims to deliver a strong message.

I am Malami.
@ss_malami on Twitter.